First, I would just like to say that I adore constructive criticism, so thank you for giving me such an honest opinion. ^_^
(And yeah, I think because I kind of had to detach myself from the writing process, I think I was kind of the tiniest bit clinical in my approach.)
About Juns’ attitude, I mentioned in the notes that it was – vaguely – connected to a previous Juntoshi fic I wrote. I believe I explored Jun feelings more fully in that piece, but I understand your point. I wanted my readers to be able to read this as a stand-alone piece, so I should have reiterated the history of Juns’ emotions. (It’s easy to forget, as the person who is writing the story, that the readers don’t have the ‘back-story’ planned in their heads as I do.) ^^’
And the attempt at a touch of humour at the end… As odd as it may sound, was my way of deliberately breaking the mood; kind of reinforcing the idea that there would be no awkwardness between them after the fact. Does that make sense?
Obviously, I love having proper discussions on the merits and minuses of writing and I tend to be verbose in response. Your comment is certainly something I will be able to apply to my future works, so thank you again!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-07-23 10:54 am (UTC)(And yeah, I think because I kind of had to detach myself from the writing process, I think I was kind of the tiniest bit clinical in my approach.)
About Juns’ attitude, I mentioned in the notes that it was – vaguely – connected to a previous Juntoshi fic I wrote. I believe I explored Jun feelings more fully in that piece, but I understand your point. I wanted my readers to be able to read this as a stand-alone piece, so I should have reiterated the history of Juns’ emotions. (It’s easy to forget, as the person who is writing the story, that the readers don’t have the ‘back-story’ planned in their heads as I do.) ^^’
And the attempt at a touch of humour at the end… As odd as it may sound, was my way of deliberately breaking the mood; kind of reinforcing the idea that there would be no awkwardness between them after the fact. Does that make sense?
Obviously, I love having proper discussions on the merits and minuses of writing and I tend to be verbose in response. Your comment is certainly something I will be able to apply to my future works, so thank you again!