amh1988: (Dumped)
amh1988 ([personal profile] amh1988) wrote2010-01-27 06:43 pm
Entry tags:

Fic ~ Nino just wants it to STOP.

I was bored and I could NOT get this idea out of my head so…. Enjoy!

They’re more like mini drabbles, but kind of connected to one another. It’s really short but it was kind of fun. No real pairing exactly, but Ohmiya is kind of hard to reign in, also implied Juntoshi and well, OK, you could probably find a bit of everything in this.

 

Title: Letters From Ninomiya
Rating: PG 
Genre: General/Humor
Characters: Everyone. Nino POV
Word Count: 500
Type: Stand-alone
Summary: Nino sends a few short mails to his fellow members and tells them what has been on his mind lately.

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Arashi.

 

 

 

Letters From Ninomiya

 

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________________________

 

 

To: Sakurai Sho

 

You’re too much. Lately, the amount of times I have had to call you out on your stupidity has been increasing. While, I admit, this is usually a lot of fun for me and watching you fail is highly amusing, I’m starting to run out of appropriate comebacks. I thought putting the verbal smack-down on Aiba-chan and Leader was a full-time commitment, but having to include you in that number is troubling me.

 

I don’t mind doing it because I do love to watch you squirm, but please… stop timing it so that all three of you are being stupid together. Do you have any idea how crazy it makes me when I have to let one of my victims get away because there isn’t time to nail all three!?

 

Sincerely,

 

Ninomiya Kazunari

[Work-aholic]

 

PS. If you find that video…. No, never mind.

 

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________________________

 

 

To: Matsumoto Jun

 

I think it’s great that you’ve let your image mellow recently and there really isn’t anything more satisfying than watching you parade around like a dork, but could you maybe take it down a notch? I feel like you’re close to over-stepping some boundaries and wandering into my territory.

 

Alternatively, meet me at our usual bar tomorrow and I’ll teach you the correct way to turn Oh-chan’s switch on.

 

Respectfully

 

Ninomiya Kazunari

[Skinship Sensei]

 

PS. Take Sho-kun surfing sometime. Preferably with a camera crew.

 

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________________________

 

  

To: Aiba Masaki

 

Please stop trying to poison, maim, disfigure or otherwise incapacitate us. I know it was you who “suggested” a lot of those experiments to the professors on our programme too.

 

Stop it.

 

If Sho-kun finds out that you are the reason he had to jump out of a plane…. OK, so he probably won’t do much. But there will be no escape from Matsujun if he learns that the swing was all your idea. No matter how fast you run.

 

….Or how invisible you manage to become. (Which isn’t very likely either.)

 

Best wishes,

 

Ninomiya Kazunari

[Informant]

 

PS. If you really want to fly, I can try whacking you with a 5-Iron the next time we play golf.

 

 

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________________________

 
 

To: Ohno Satoshi

 

No.

 

I will not go fishing with you. Please stop asking. Not even your promise to distract me while on board will convince me to get on that vessel of veritable malevolence. How many times do I have to tell you that I only even do it for work because they pay me? Either cough up or pipe down. And no, I won’t take payment in trade. Why don’t you take Aiba-chan? He’s been asking since 2001 anyway.

 

And while I’m on the subject, you can stop asking me to model for you too. I don’t care if you want to practice drawing human anatomy; I’m not going to pose for two hours for you. Why don’t you just take a picture after our concert tonight? I’ll wash your hair.

 

Love,

 

Ninomiya Kazunari

[Guru]

 

PS. I learned a new trick last week… it’s magic. ♥

 

 

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________________________

 

 

(S)END

 

Depending on how well this is received, I’ll probably write some more, either from the other members or their replies…. I’m not sure yet.

Arashi Replies

Feel free to comment with your thoughts and ideas.

 


[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-28 08:18 am (UTC)(link)
LOL

Yup, Nino is pretty awesome. And Sho jumped out of a plane in the first experiment special to test if a wet shirt would dry on the way down. He didn't exactly make it look cool. XD

I love dorky Matsujun too; much more fun!

Actually, I like fishing too, I haven't done it since I was 14, but if Ohno asked, I'd SOOO be there. XDDDDD

Thanks for reading and commenting. ♥

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-28 08:26 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you very much. I had so much fun capturing Nino's "voice" and I can only hope that I can do the same for the other members when I write their replies. ^^"

[identity profile] asyuraniel.livejournal.com 2010-01-28 09:14 am (UTC)(link)
choo kawai!!! OMG! aiba-chan is the one suggested the experiment to all the professor... no wonder ne... and nino, please spare oh-chan from your verbal abuse... he is just being cute to you... and yes sho-chan, because your failling becoming more prominent lately, even i forgot that u are actuall smart and kakkoi..

[identity profile] animexfreak728.livejournal.com 2010-01-28 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
XD Sho is fail-tastic. <3 Gotta love him for it.

At first when I started to get into Arashi, in everything I saw, Matsujun just didnt seem into it. But once I started watched their shows, that view changed. Also his dramas are spectacular.

YAY! Fishing woo! XD I havent fished since I was about 12 either. o.o Kind of a long time. I stopped after my grandpa died. [I used to fish with him]

It was definately fun reading these. I really do hope you make more! [Can I steal your icon? XD I love it.]

[identity profile] amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
I love Nino snark so much... I want to receive a bratty letter from him, too. >.>

I think it'd be fun to read their replies, particularly Aiba's (but that's because my NinoAi bias is squeeing). But this line: Do you have any idea how crazy it makes me when I have to let one of my victims get away because there isn’t time to nail all three!? makes me want to hear Sho's response, lol.

*hugs* Miss you, love.

[identity profile] all4cyanide.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
LMMFAO WIN. DO MORE. AMAZING.

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah well, how could Aiba not have a hand in what is basically a giant A no Arashi segment? Maybe he brainwashes the professors or just turns he puppy-dog-eyes on them. But then, Aiba is hard to resist (even Nino has a hard time resisting him). ^_^

Thanks for reading, and lets hope I don't fail quite as bad as Sho when I post their replies. :]

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 07:03 am (UTC)(link)
Nino snark is just one of the five major food groups (together with Sho Fail, Aiba Cute... etc. etc. and so on and so forth, ad nauseum.

Sure thing. Personally, I don't think Aiba will be too worried; he knows he can make Kazu-kun see things his way. XD (Although it might involve bribery....)

And -taken out of context- that quote can can be read is so many ways. LOL >_<

I miss you too.

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 07:09 am (UTC)(link)
Are you me!?

Seriously, I was exactly the same way with Matsujun.

Yeah, I used to fish with my great-uncle. Or rather, I mostly kept him company while he fished and helped him with the equipment. And He always brought an extra rod for me (I never really caught much though).

I should be posting the replies either later today or early tomorrow.
[Take any icon you like hon, they're all done by monkey31]

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
LOL
Thanks. I will do. expect more in the next 48 hours.

[identity profile] higure-san.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 10:41 am (UTC)(link)
one.word:AWESOMENESS!!!! XD

I laughed at the letters! Pure crack! Thanks for sharing this xD

[identity profile] a-mbry0.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 01:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahahahahaha
LOVE LOVE LOVE! Everything! This is epic win and so Nino!
The title XDDD
Thank you!
<33

[identity profile] narusaku4vr.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm liking it. Very Nino!!!

[identity profile] animexfreak728.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
XD Really?!!? Thats hilarious! That is odd that its the same situation for both of us. Everyone I talk to LOVED Matsujun from the start. I've personally always loved Sho and Aiba. <3 The dorkiest, adorable, funniest members of Johnny's Entertainment. <33

XD I never really caught anything either. When I did I handed it over to my Poppop because I couldnt get the fish off the hook. XD We always put them back though. Id probably get a good whack on the head from Oh-chan for saying that. XD

HONTO?!?!?! Ill have to check! =D That makes me excited!

Ah thank you!!! You even included the person who made them. Thanks! I like to make sure I write down where they came from. I feel bad if I cant give proper credit.

[identity profile] yoshiblack16.livejournal.com 2010-01-29 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
My father kept giving me weird look for laughing alone:)

I loved it!

[identity profile] kazukari.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
please do, I want to see what they'll respond to that lol loved it!!!

[identity profile] pebblegosling.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
OHMIYA *giggles*

Oh, bb, somehow I missed this on my f-list but it is pure awesome- you captured Nino and how he relates to the others sooo well!! <3

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!
I'm glad that they brought a smile to you.

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL
Thank you. Can't you just hear Nino's voice in your head sometimes? When that happenes, I just have to write.

... Oh wait... So you don't? I'm the only one with voices in my head!?

Aw.
crap.

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks ♥

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
That's OK. You should tel your father that people who laugh more live longer. (Obviously, Arashi fans are going to live for a looooooong time.) ^-^

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I did it. And it was sooo much fun. Thanks for reading!

[identity profile] amh1988.livejournal.com 2010-01-30 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Yup, some not so subtle OhMiya. I do love me some Ohmiya. I am, after all, a confirmed Ohmiya-ite within the Arashian religion, remember? ;D

But then, come to think of it.....
Does impersonating Brother Hamburger Hands therefore make me a heretic?
Oh no~.
XD

[identity profile] a-mbry0.livejournal.com 2010-01-31 12:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahahaha Nino's voice in your head?! Omg I don't know if I should be jealous or what! 8DDD

[identity profile] leiyah-chan.livejournal.com 2010-02-01 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
*tries to revive after died from laughing*

Really now.. This is dangerous to read while I'm working. It's either I look incredibly stupid for smiling like a lunatic or suddenly laugh by myself without others knowing why.. In short, this is one of the most comedic fic I've ever read and I LOVE IT!! *rofl* You really did well on capturing Nino's 'tsukkomi' moment and my favorite parts?

"Not even your promise to distract me while on board will convince me to get on that vessel of veritable malevolence"

"PS. I learned a new trick last week… it’s magic. ♥"

*rofl x100000*

Thanks so much for writing this! I hope you don't mind me adding you as a friend <3

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