Really, I didn't write any of the crack in this fic. Arashi braough their own; I just gave them a Drive-thru in which to display it. ^_^

Jonny is THE most successful pimp ever. And what pimp doesn't 'sample' his product? Nino huh? Well, maybe not a lovechild (that would require female intervention) but maybe his apprentice?

Oooh, get thee behind me Satan! Don't temp me with Maid Cafes! Although... All this talk of Jonny and his evil genius IS giving me ideas....

"Come to the dark side my young padewan...."
"Kazu... I am your father!"

Hm? Arashi/Stars Wars Crack? HA! I'd make Matsujun Chewy just for the LOLZ! (And the BAD!Hair jokes)